Blowing hot and cold. That's what I'm feeling nowadays. Since I'm going to get my period soon, that's why my mood is swinging pretty bad. And for sure, I became more sensitive and my paranoia became more excessive. Yeah I do have paranoia. A terrible paranoia, to be exact. I hate this kind of feeling. I hate it when I'm going to get my period. The funny thing is, when I'm having my period, I don't feel this kind of thing, such as mood swings or very sensitive toward things and became more paranoia than ever. That is weird. People usually felt the opposite.

Everything just irritates me. Like, literally everything. Even the small things irritate me. Especially, that person. That person is just getting on my nerves. That person is such a braggart seriously. That person thinks that s/he is the best person ever and thinks that s/he is the one with the tons of knowledge while s/he's not! That is so annoying and seriously drivin' me nuts. I mean, people were like amused with that person and thought that s/he is the best one and so on so on. No, I'm not being jealous nor envy with that person. You all might think that 'Aww, you're saying that stuff just because you're jealous!' , well it's not. Seriously, that person is just being such a braggart which is annoying, while I know that I'm the one who knew about it well than that person. It's just that, people overrated that person and underrated me. Pity.

I mean how could a person like that was being head over heels by lots of people. No, I'm not envy toward that person. It's just doesn't make sense. Those people were just to exaggerate it and too captivated with that person. People too engrossed with that person. And, no, you're not that good please. But the thing that irritates me the most was that you being such a braggart. Dang, I know that I knew it better but yet you're being such a braggart and you made other people fascinated by you, while, no you're not that fascinating. So please, don't be such a hideous braggart, will you? Thank you very much.

That's why because of my mood swings, everything just irritated me. Just with a tiny thing, it could blow my mood. My entire mood. Perfect isn't it? Plus, my excessive paranoia. Gawd, why do I have to be so paranoid like this. But somehow, I'm being thankful for being such a paranoid because I can feel other's feelings or such things better than the others.

A Shocking Lost

Yesterday I went to Taman Anggrek to get my haircut, it's like FINALLY I'm getting my haircut! I went to my new hairdresser, Budi at Chandra Gupta but he had a day off that day. So I went to my other hairdresser, Cucu at Anna Wijaya. I've been with him for like 3-4 years, but I moved to Budi because last time when I want to cut my hair, Cucu was sick so I cut my hair with Budi and I enjoyed it. So when I asked the front desk is Cucu available or not, she said that Cucu had passed away. Yeah, passed away. I was in terrible shock when I heard that. I couldn't believe, I was literally dropped my jaw because of that shocking news.

So Cucu passed away because of a disease. It's a cancer. If in Indonesian it's Kanker Kelenjar Getah Bening, I don't know what its called in english~ I never knew that he had such a disease. I mean, he always looked cheerful and well yeah recently he's been off because he's sick, but never thought that he would have such a disease. I was totally in shock. That kind and good person really passed away. He is a very nice person and very friendly. I mean I've been with him for like 3 years. Been following him since he was in LuVaze, then moved to Anna Wijaya, then moved again to Domicile, and the last was at Anna Wijaya. I couldn't believe it that he's really gone.

I'm so gonna miss his huge small curly blonde hair, his perfume smell, his huge belt that he always wore, and other things about him. Gosh, when I called my mom to tell her the news, I was in the verge of crying already, but I hold it of course. It was too shocking and just couldn't believe it. This is the first time I had someone I knew was passed away.

Indeed, it is true that we will never know when we're going to lost someone we knew or even lost our lives too. God's plans were all shocking and I know He had his own purpose and it's good for us. Therefore, we may not waste our time and make it to the fullest. I've been thinking that I really should go back to the right path, before it's too late. Lots of wisdom, advices, and even this kind of thing struck me to make me realize that I should go back to the right path soon. Oh Jesus, I'm sorry. I am really sorry.

Happy New Year 2011

Hello everyone! Time flies so fast indeed huh, it's 1st January 2011 already! It feels like just few months ago I was celebrating New Year 2010, but now I'm celebrating New Year 2011 already. Well nothing special with this new year, I mean everything just seems so fast and that's why it doesn't affect me much. But still, it's a new year isn't it and I'm trying to write some resolution of mine.

2011 RESOLUTION:

• More diligent in studying
• No more harsh words or talk
• No more complaining in Twitter or such social network including blog
• Be a better friend, and always give caring to my friends even though they're not
• Hmm what else
• Saving money and less spending
• I'm sucks at writing a resolution

Always ended up with doing nothing from the resolution list

I don't really care about the resolution thingy though

Just always trying to do my best in this new year

Anyway I was celebrating this year with going through the phase with my friends and playing firecrackers and fireworks. Going to post it up later, 'cause lately my internet is being such a pain in the ass again.

Seriously, I really hope in this year everything went well for me, 'cause in 2010 everything didn't go well for me. Like for real. Just going to make sure, that I'm going to have loads of fun in this year without getting through trouble or hatred or anything bad. Just good things. Like really good things.

I want to write things that I've been through in 2010, but as I said before I guess I have some kind of memory loss or something 'cause I can't remember it precisely each months. All I can remember is I went to South Korea on June/July and so on and so on. Oh don't forget pathetic things on my birthdays, yeah I don't have to write it precisely 'cause I don't want to mention bad things in this very fresh first post on 2011.

So yeah, may all of us will have loads of great and happy moments in 2011 :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

L♥VE

This is such a random post I guess , all of a sudden I'm writing about LOVE , yes ♥ .

Well , it's not like it's happening to me right now , well i feel love all the time practically, from Jesus , family and friends of course
That's why I'm saying that love has so many type.

First of all the most important one is Jesus' love of course. He's willing to die for us , but we kept make sins all the time. Well I'm not going to explain this kind of love really detail, because it's a matter of religion and our faith. Since this is a public blog, I shouldn't write something that is controversial. Don't you think ? But the important thing was, this is the most important love ♥

Second one is our family's love. But seriously, many of them feels like their family didn't love them. Well depends on the case though, there are some cases that showed what the real families are, I mean loving each other and really being together as one always. But there are some families who's not that harmonize. But seriously, they love you. Even though sometimes they're kinda annoying and pissed us off , but they still love you. And they made you annoyed or pissed you off for your own good, well mostly indeed.

Third one is our friend's love. Why not our boyfriend/girlfriend? Because it's really hard to find the real friends. But it's not that hard to find boyfriend nor girlfriend. So appreciate your friends more than you appreciate your boyfriend or girlfriend I suppose. In my case, I don't think I have found my real real real friends. I have best friends , but I don't know it's kinda hard to explain. It's a rare of me to share something to them, since I'm an introvert , which it makes me harder right. But yeah, I'm very happy with this kind of situation and yeah I love them :) ♥

Fourth one is our boyfriend or girlfriend's love. I'm going detail for this one ;)

The thing I know for sure is that no one is going to be a single ladies or single man for their entire life. Because God made us in one package. So you're going to have your own boy/girl later, just wait for them. They're still on their way to your heart. You know, they could've lost on their way , so they're still finding the way to your heart ♥

But many of us are craving for them. It's like you'll die if you don't have boyfriend or girlfriend right now. Well, why you're in such a hurry? You don't need to rush things like that. Maybe because you think, you're still young so you can be with any kind of guy, well for me I don't want. I really think from many aspects. Even though yeah I think too far. And that's what I'm trying to get rid of.

For all single ladies/man , just be patient of your love out there. If you're craving for them, well yeah there's nothing I can do, because the point of you living your life is not just to find a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

For all taken ladies/man , congratulation :) stay last long with your Mr. and Ms.Right ♥
Just trust each other, and be understanding to each other. And more over, just have it on your way you wanted.

I'd rather sit all by myself in a coffee shop than have to watch at the cinema all by myself

So here I am, I'm blogging all by myself here at J.Co E'x. Such a pathetic isn't it ? Well there's nothing else I can do with it. I have to wait for my sister who's taking the JRP's final exam at World Trade Center building. Which is quite near with E'x. So I've decided to stay at E'x until my sister has finish her final exam.

Now I know how it feels to sit all by yourself at a coffee shop, accompanied by your laptop and free wifi at the coffee shop. I never thought it would be like this. I mean I've always thought that it's going to so boring and ashamed. I mean, you're sitting all by yourself in a public place, well that's quite embarrassing for me though.

But, hey! It's not that bad after all. I kinda feel like it's not that bored. Unless you don't bring your laptop with you or there's not wifi connection there. You'd better kill me. I'd rather walked around than have to sit doing nothing.

Unfortunately, there's no electricity plug here. So I can't plug my laptop's battery charger. That's why I've changed my battery mode to the battery savings mode. Time remaining: 1hr 27mins. Oh man, I hope there's a miracle's going to happen. I hope it will last more than that.

But what I loved the most is that the internet connection was really fast! The download's speed was 100++kbps. I was downloading 200mb, and the time remaining was only 30mins. And I was like Praise the Lord! Hell yeah, I am so going to use it with all of my heart. LOL. And now I'm downloading Strong Heart episode 9. I've download 2 parts out of 5 though.

I should came here more often to download loads of stuff ;) But the thing that I'm sorry the most was there's no electricity plug like I said!

But seriously, I'd rather sit all by myself at the coffee shop than have to watch the cinema all by myself. I can't even imagine that I'm watching a movie in the cinema alone. Seriously, can't imagine it. And I don't even want to imagine it at all. For some reasons, you look like a pathetic when you're watching at the cinema all by yourself than sitting around at the coffee shop all by yourself. Well that was my opinion though.

But now I've felt what's it like to sitting around in a coffee shop all by yourself, accompanied by your laptop and wifi connections. Lol. It's not that bad seriously. Somewhat, I found it quite interesting and fun (?). You should tried it someday :) But don't forget to prepare for everything. You should bring your laptop, internet modem usb perhaps, battery's charger, and other things. I have brought my harddisk, just in case I couldn't find a coffee shop with wifi connection.

But still, I'd prefer sitting around all by myself in a coffee shop than have to watch the cinema all by myself.

#tobehonest i think life is just filled with a monotone-routine
-yolanda-

1st post

well this is my blog

i'm started it on 4th April 2009

nothing so special

just want to let all of my feelings out of my mind into this blog

to get me relieved

Welcome, readers!