Miracle

mir·a·cle

 [mir-uh-kuhl] 

noun

1.

such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9 

Not many people have experienced miracle in their life. They have heard it before from the bible or their relatives or their friends. Many of them too would like to experience a miracle in their life. It all depends on God of course. I've never thought that I'd received this kind of miracle in my life. Everything that happened during this event are all miracles to me. Starting from the coincidence, the timing, everything.

So one day, I was scrolling through my Twitter timeline and I saw a tweet regarding blood type. I know that there are two types of blood type; Rhesus negative and Rhesus positive. If I'm not mistaken, I was being tested back then at school and the result was stated that I'm a Rhesus negative B. It was stated there in that tweet that Rhesus negative bloods are very rare and if a girl own that, the girl will have a hard time during the pregnancy or even the girl couldn't have a child. I was scared so I asked my mom to go to the hospital to check my blood. You see, I've been always scared of injection and needle. I will always cry even before the nurse show me the needle. My mom was pretty surprised that I'm the one who asked her to go to the hospital to check my blood. So, my mom told me as well to go check what's wrong with my tummy because recently it's getting bigger and yet it's hard. I thought it was just a belly fat because I didn't feel hurt at all and my bowel movements are relatively good and I often sit right away on the bed after having a meal. So I agree with her suggestion.

I checked to the internist doctor at S Hospital. He checked my pulse, my blood pulse, my stomach and everything. But it took quite a while for him to check me. He pressed on my back and my tummy. I told him as well that my waist back is hurt and it's like the muscles there got sprained or something. He asked me, 'Is your bowel movement is good and you do it everyday?' (for those who do not know bowel movement, bowel movement is poop) and I answered 'Yes' right away. He asked me to take a blood test and CT Scan for stomach area with contrast injection to make it clearer. It's kinda expensive though, the CT Scan with contrast injection because CT Scan for stomach is the most expensive, the nurse told me.

So, that's me wearing a special dress and on the right picture is where the needle of the contrast injection. The nurse told me that once the contrast liquid is being injected, I'll feel warm or even hot throughout my whole body. Once they injected it for real, I can actually felt the liquid passing by and kept coming in my veins and it felt weird and I didn't like it and I only felt warm. They also took my blood and I asked them to check my blood type as well and the result of the blood test came out right away and my blood type is B+ thankfully. The result of the CT Scan will take few days. So I went home without thinking much about it.

Few days had passed and suddenly I received a call from mom. I was in my room by myself watching shows and my mom asked me, 'Are you alright? What are you doing?' and sort of questions that she didn't usually ask me and also she told me that the office is working until late that's why my parents and my sister still not yet home. By then, I knew that there is something wrong and I had this feeling that something is not right but I'm not sad or bothered or troubled by it.

Once the three of them got home, they acted like usual only that my mom hugged me suddenly and I quite forgot they told me they're going to bring me to Singapore that day right away or the next day. Nevertheless, they told me that they will bring me to Singapore for a further check-up and I don't have to worry about anything else. When they told me that, they haven't told me the result of the CT Scan. They still kept it as secret from me. But I knew it right away that there's something unusual with the result but I'm not sad or scared at all though.

Few days after that, I insisted them to tell me what's the result and that's when I got told that there's a myoma (miom in Bahasa) on my stomach that coming from my left ovaries uterus (indung telur rahim kiri) and it's been growing into a huge myoma that it can be called as tumor already. I was shocked of course because I never thought that my stomach is getting bigger and hard because there is a tumor inside of it. At first, I didn't cry but because of my mom and my sister, the whole family started to cry. My dad found a good doctor at Singapore, introduced by my dad's younger brother's wife. Because my uncle's wife also ever had myoma but not as big as mine.

It all happened in a rush and sudden. That's the first time that I didn't feel excited for going to Singapore. So we went to Singapore and made an appointment with two doctors at Mount Elizabeth Hospital. First, Doctor Cheng Jun; an internist and the second, Doctor Teoh Seng Hin; an obs-gyn and surgery for women. The first appointment was with Doctor Cheng Jun. He looked very friendly and he asked me to lie down and he pressed my tummy two times and he knew right away that there's a tumor inside my stomach but to make sure he did the ultrasound and it showed clearly that there's a massive mass inside my stomach but he told us that it's supposed to be not cancer because there's no huge amount of water on the tumor. He explained that usually a cancer will have quite amount of water on the mass or the meat to put it simply. He managed to told us that there's a tumor in a matter of seconds I think. Indeed, the doctors in Singapore are much better. No offense. He asked us to go to meet an obs-gyn doctor, he introduced us to a doctor which is one of his friends but we also told him that we already have an appointment with an obs-gyn doctor and when we mentioned the name, he said 'Oh yeah, he's a good doctor. Very famous.' I felt relieved at that time.

So, we went to the second appointment which is with Doctor Teoh Seng Hin. He looked very fatherly and kind and friendly. We told him the symptoms and he made me lie down to do the ultrasound again and asked me to got my blood taken.

At first, the nurse tried to take my blood from my right arm but I was too scared and I cried even before the nurse showed me the injection. I was too tensed up so the nurse couldn't take my blood, the blood won't came out. She told me to relax and not too tensed up and not to be scared. It's hard but I managed to calm myself so she tried to take from my left arm. This time, she managed to take my blood. Because of that, my right arm got blue-ish thingy for few days but it doesn't hurt at all, just scary.

The next day, the result came out and Doctor Teoh told me that there is a tumor inside my stomach and the root is from my left ovaries uterus. It is a huge tumor so of course I have to undergo surgery to take it out because it's too big. But he said it's not a cancer because there's no huge amount of water inside the tumor and it's shape is oval and not like cancer which is a bit abstract not in a perfect shape. He explained to my father and my sister (my mom didn't come along because she's scared and to take care of the office and home) about the myoma or tumor and difference between tumor and cancer and things like that. He explained it to us slowly and truly made us understand. He's willing to explain it to us patiently.

We decided to undergo surgery on Wednesday (that time was on Monday). He made a call to the surgery section and turned out all the surgery rooms were full for Wednesday. So we postponed it to Thursday. Then I asked the doctor, 'Is it okay to postponed it to Thursday?' and the doctor replied me, 'You had this tumor along with you for like 2 years and now we're going to postponed it one day, it doesn't matter at all.' and we all laughed. That is true. My stomach is getting bigger since I graduated from high school until my third semester in University. At Indonesia, I was asked to undergo surgery that night, the night when the result was out because it's a malignant tumor and it pushed the kidney already and the intestines as well. I was agreed to take my appendix as well during the surgery so that I won't have to experienced appendix in the future.

I was given a medicine that I need to drink the night before the surgery for my bowel movement. To clear my intestines out. Because the doctor said it's very risky and dangerous to do surgery on the stomach area because if the intestines are dirty and the doctor touch it wrongly or do something wrongly, it can affected the intestines bad and it may be fatal cause. The nurse told me to drink it by mix it up with 7UP or Sprite. I was shocked, like a medicine mix with 7UP? A soda? She said yes unless I can handle the medicine alone without mix it with anything.

That night. I mixed the oral fleet with 7UP and I smelled it but nothing smells and I drank a bit of it and oh my for Heaven's sake it tasted really bad. Really awful. I can't describe it in words. It's not bitter. It's just awful, seriously. I understood by then why the nurse asked me to mixed it up with 7UP. I had to drink one whole bottle but in the end I didn't drink the whole bottle only left it a bit because I couldn't handle the taste. It did make me went back and forth to the bathroom but surprisingly, I didn't get stomachache so just the feel to go to the toilet. It made me tired though, nevertheless.

Then, it's the big day! I still remember the date very well. Thursday, 20th September 2012. My surgery will be done on 3pm. My dad asked for a one-person room but all of them were full even until the VVIP room was full. All that was left was two-person room. It's better than four-room person of course. The room was good though and I'm really grateful that it's a two-person room rather than four-room person. 

I'm dressed in a blue one-piece waiting for the bed to come to my room. The bed that will take me to the surgery room. Then when the time came, the bed came to my room and I was put there and I was being taken to the surgery opera, that's what they called it if I'm not wrong. It feels weird to take the elevator while lying down instead of standing on your feet. After saying goodbye to my father and my sister, I enter the surgery opera. I was being put in queue first in a big room with curtains to cover each patients. There's one nurse who attended me and asked me certain questions about my life, my university, and anything else. 

Surprisingly, I didn't feel scared or nervous at all. I'm not lying. I'm being completely honest. I've prayed when I'm being left alone in that queue room. Just felt a bit nervous but that's all. I don't feel scared as people mostly feel when they undergo surgery. I'm very grateful of that. God made my heart in ease because I know He's with me and I'm gonna be okay because I'm in God's hand.

Then, the kind nurse took me to the surgery room. It was a big white room and very bright. I saw a huge lights like the ones in the movies and there are around 7 people wearing green robes including Doctor Teoh Seng Hin and the nurse I met in his office and also my appendix doctor, Doctor Michelle. They inject me again with the IV but I didn't feel hurt or scared at that time because Doctor Michelle and the nurse kept talking to me. A male nurse or doctor put something on my feet, it made my feet warm and it's like massaging my feet. It felt nice. Then, before they put me into sleep with full anesthesia, Doctor Teoh Seng Hin held my hand and we prayed together. He told me already before that he will pray with me before the surgery. How kind he is, right? 

After we prayed, Doctor Michelle told me that the anesthesia will be injected to my IV and I will feel sleepy. She kept talking and then I felt my eyelids were heavy and wanted to close. I tried to resist it but I can't. The last thing I heard was Doctor Michelle asked if I was sleepy and because I'm too sleepy, I just answered 'Ung' to her and then I fell asleep. 

My dad asked Doctor Teoh how long the surgery will be and Doctor Teoh said it will be finished in one hour or two to the top IF the tumor sticked to the intestines which is a very serious case. After this session, I heard it from my sister and my dad. So, I was in the surgery room for 4 hours. At the third hour, my dad grew panic and anxious because the doctor said I'll be in the surgery room only for 2 hours to the top but this has gone to 3 hours. Then Doctor Teoh's nurse came out and looking for my dad and my sister. When she saw my father and my sister, the first thing she said was, 'Oh my God! It's huge! The tumor is really huge! Oh my God'. So, she said that it took for a while because Doctor Teoh wanted to make sure that it's not a cancer and it's just a merely tumor, a huge meat. That's why they sent it to the Pathology to check it on the spot. Because if they stitched me up and turned out it's a cancer, it will be troublesome. That's why Doctor Teoh waited for it because IF it's a cancer, he will clean my insides right away from the cancer. The nurse also told my sister and my dad that I lost a lot of blood that I need to have blood transfusion. I lost a lot of blood because of the tumor.

Then the surgery was finished, my sister got called that I have been transferred to my room. My sister and my dad went back to my room right away but I haven't reach the room yet, when I reached the room, my sister told me that she feels weary and sad looking at me like that. She said I'm asleep but with 4 tubes on both my hands, 2 on the right and 2 on the left and another one on my nose for my oxygen. I lost a lot of blood that's why I might lost oxygen as well. My sister and my dad need to wait outside because they need to move me from the rolling bed to my bed. My sister said that I was grunted and groaned pretty loud when they moved me, it's like I'm in hurt or I didn't want to be moved. Because my dad was not allowed to stay in my room until tomorrow morning, both of them left and went back to the hotel because the nurse said that I won't wake up tonight because of the effect of the anesthesia.

Tomorrow morning, around 11am, I regained my conscious and I didn't feel hurt at all but it's just that my stomach seemed tight and if I tried to move body, it hurts. I asked my sister to took a photo of me right away, I mean, this will be first and the last time I will undergo surgery right.

As you can see, an IV on my right hand and two tubes on my left hand. One is for the antibiotics medicine and the other one is the blood transfusion. I needed two packs of blood anyway. Also one more for the oxygen on my nose. This picture was taken right when I regained my conscious. The bottle of the antibiotics seemed big but when my dad checked it, it's only less than 10mg. Doctor Teoh said that this antibiotics were the best antibiotics and it's from Germany. I needed the best one because I'm still young (counted as a kid and underaged) yet I had to underwent a major surgery at such age.

That day I kept sleeping because of the anesthesia, I still felt drowsy and sleepy. I was not allowed to drink, so I only allowed to sip in bit by bit that day. The next day, I'm only allowed to eat ice chips and sip in again. Then the next day again, I can drink and starting to eat if I'm not mistaken. Because I got my appendix taken as well, I need to eat soft-diet food.

I had to eat this for three times a day. I got released from the oxygen and the blood transfusion on the second day or third day I think and I was asked to start learning to sit up and moved my body bit by bit and it quite hurt at that time. I'm not really good at swallowing tablets or capsules but I was asked to eat a painkiller and I lost my timing to drink and swallow and it tasted bitter and I couldn't swallow it. I think because of that, I kept throwing up in the night. I even told the nurse to not give me the painkiller as I didn't feel hurt anyway and they gave me pink syrup panadol only as my painkiller.

I was getting bored in the hospital and getting sick of it that I kept feeling nausea and throwing up during middle of the night. Then on the fourth day, I was asked to start walking around the room and go outside for a walk a bit. I got tired easily and it's hard to lie down again or to move my body but slowly I grew accustomed by it.

This picture was taken when I managed to leave my bed and managed to sit for the first time at chair. It was on the third day or fourth day I quite forgot about it. I had to sit while holding on the chair and used the strength of my legs and hands and thigh instead of my stomach because it will be hurt if I used my stomach strength to sit down because of the stitches.

During the fourth day, Doctor Teoh said I got gastric and he gave me gastric medicine, the white liquid like usual tasted mint. Then I insisted to leave the hospital because I thought I'll feel better if I'm staying at the hotel instead of the hospital because if I'm staying in the hospital, I'll kept remembered that I'm a sick person. Finally, Doctor Teoh let me to leave the hospital around 5pm because that's when he finished working because he needed to check me again.

I had to use wheelchair for the meantime because I can't walk properly because of the stitches. So I went around the Orchard Road using wheelchair. The thing with people at Singapore, they all respect wheelchair users and didn't stare it like I'm sort of a weird people. They made way for me. Very different with in Indonesia for sure.

I had to come back for three days or one week I think. For another check up before I went back to Indonesia.

I didn't wash my hair for four days and I really wanted to wash my hair despite my condition so I managed to asked my sister to wash my hair at the hotel's bathroom even though it's hard especially with Mandarin Hotel's bathroom. The bathtub combined into one with the shower and it's a bit high that I had to lift up my leg and I couldn't do that so I kinda bend my knee a bit and lean back a bit to wash my hair. It's a bit hard but nevertheless I was able to wash my hair even though not as clean as if I washed it like usual. But, still, I supposed it's quite clean.

After a week, I went back to the clinic and told the doctor that my legs are swollen and why is that. The doctor made a letter for my university and for the airport to give me wheelchair and to give me front row seat because I just underwent a major surgery and I'm still not able to sit on an airplane that well.

Doctor Teoh asked me to go around and had fun while I'm in here while waiting for his call. Because he wanted to make sure again that my tumor is not a cancer and also checked my blood because of my swollen legs. So when I'm walking around in the Orchard Road, I received a call from himself. Stating that the tumor is not a cancer for sure and my legs got swollen because of lack protein. I was like what? So I had to eat soft-boiled eggs 5 in one day. 4 without the yolk and 1 with the yolk. I have to eat lots of meat and fish and anything with lots of protein. He gave me vitamins also for the legs.So basically, he didn't give me any medicine for my stitches beside a cream to make the stitches looked good or for the post-surgery for the insides. Only vitamins for the swollen legs and cream for stitches. Isn't that awesome?

I had to wear abdomen surgical binder to support me when I'm walking or anything. At first, I couldn't separated from it because it really helps me in walking or sleeping or sitting. But nowadays, I only used it if I'm going out. I'm no longer use it when I'm at home or when I'm asleep.

I had to come back in one month for another check up. The doctor suggested me to stay at home for one month until I came back and got checked-up. My mom insisted me to stay at home as well. Basically I almost cannot do anything because everything I do will used stomach strength. It was quite troublesome and it hurts sometime if I moved my body to sideways.

What I called miracle in here are:

1. This tumor had been growing in me for two years and it's getting bigger yet I didn't feel any pain and my bowel movements are great until that time I got checked in Indonesia, my back starting to hurt badly. I even been told that I've been lying that my bowel movements are great by the doctor in Indonesia.

2. I don't have any intention to check on my tummy even if my mom kept ask me to check it since long time ago until I wanted to check my blood, simply because I wanted to know whether it's a rhesus negative or positive.

3. I came across two good doctors. A very good doctors. If I underwent surgery in Indonesia, I'm pretty sure they will take my ovaries or perhaps my intestines too? LOL

4. The day after my 1-week-after-surgery check up, Doctor Teoh will be gone to Germany for a seminar. If I came late to Singapore, will I be able to underwent surgery in time?

5. The tumor's size is 19 x 17 x 15 in cm. That's for the long, wide, and thick. That's why my stitches are done vertically instead of horizontal because of the tumor. The tumor is too big that's why the stitches has to be done in vertically and it will be scarred for sure. The length horizontally is 19cm, length vertically is 17cm and the thickness is 15cm. That big thing is inside my stomach. Can you imagine that?

6. The tumor is that big yet it's not a cancer. It's a very rare thing. The nurses even surprised at the size of the tumor. And the tumor's root is only one which is on my left ovaries uterus and it's easy to take it out. The root is only one and not more than one. Doctor Teoh told me before that this kind of case ever happened in Mount Elizabeth but only once and it happened to a woman in her forties while me, I'm still in a young age.

7. Before, my face and my thighs got bloated but I didn't realize it and now I look thinner than ever. Even though I need one year to be fully-recovered.

8. This event made me realize that I needed to be more intimate with God and love him more and getting closer to him.

For those people, if you have a big tummy and it's hard, please check it right away. Seriously. Just to let you know, I don't believe in Indonesian doctors right now. Sorry to say that, didn't mean to sound arrogant at all but that's the truth. I was being told that I lied and the tumor is a bad one and it's sticked to my intestines already and pushed my kidney already while it's not. Unless that doctor is my friend from high school.

Most people didn't know but I underwent a major surgery. This is not a small matter. It's just that God helped me and made me didn't feel any hurt or something bad, that's why I've been able to live well for these two years without complaint at all.

Thank you, Doctor Teoh Seng Hin and team. This will be my first and last surgery. Thank you Jesus Christ for you miracle. I will never be able to forget this and Your love and Your kindness.